Learning How Not to Be Responsible for My Partner's Feelings

I am a kind and loving woman. I require a love relationship with the ones close to me. I care about many people and show them and tell them - including my husband. One morning he was home even though it was Monday morning and I usually have quiet to work. My office was right out in the middle of the house and a lot of what I do is write - just like I am writing right now.

He went out to get the car smogged and came in while I was writing. I greeted him and thanked him for taking care of the car. I listened for a few minutes while he talked about what was happening in the apartment across the way - and he kept talking to his daughter about stuff that is not important that she knows or I listen to at this time. Maybe he wanted to spend a little more time before he settled into his work mode. However, I needed quiet when I wrote. I requested that he stop and he got a little bent out of shape. Although he stopped talking.

I kept writing for a minute or two and then asked if we could talk a minute. I explained my situation more fully. I did this because I have a nagging need inside for peace. I don't like it when there are ruffled feelings. Do I go overboard on this - on easing them? I'm not sure. I have a need for a love relationship. I'm noticed that as I continued to write, my mind kept going to the bedroom where he was. I saw myself wanting to go make nice or talk or check to make sure he's ok with me. This is all my childhood stuff. Or maybe I'm just hardwired this way. Whatever.

What I knew after 32 years with this man was that he was fine; he would let me know if he needed more from me; that this no big deal; and that I followed my desire to check in with him when I was done writing which I did and he was fine.