Is it SEX or is it INTIMACY? The View from Mars

by Maia's Martian (Written a year before he passed away.

"Yesterday evening Maia and I were talking and she brought up the topic about how having sex too soon (whatever that means) in a new relationship sometimes seems to confuse things for women and not always in a good way.

Because I am wired and socialized as a Martian my first impulse was to think 'the more sex the better and the sooner the better, what’s wrong with that?'

As I thought about my own experience, however, I realized that there is more to it than that and so here is the view from an older Martian after 30 years in a successful relationship:

The word intimacy usually is a more polite way to say “sex”. Here is a more inclusive meaning of intimacy - INTO-ME-SEE - which maybe means “through sex, we are able to know each other.”

And that is the gift of an intimate long-term committed relationship. You develop a mirror to each other’s Soul. In simple terms, you get to see the Real You and the Real Her reflected through each other’s eyes on a daily basis. How incredible is that? Maybe women already know this but I know from being a man for almost 80 years that most men don’t know that is even possible.

Think of sex as a door that opens into a room where you will find this gift of discovering each other's Soul.

The difficulty is that Martian DNA is only about opening as many doors as possible. However, if doors are too easy for a man to open then they will never venture into the room and discover the gift.

Opening the door is easy, finding who you and she is (the Real You) takes a long-term committed relationship.

So, in answer to the question of how soon to have sex in a new relationship, it is and always was totally up to the individuals involved and hopefully, after reading this you are able to make a decision that comes from a higher consciousness.